The Brave New World of Fat4

This is a heartbreaking and wallet breaking story which I hoped I would never have to tell. It is even more heartbreaking that it has to be my first post. But alas I felt compelled to tell so that others might think twice before making their ways into the theme park.

This is by far the WORST theme park I have ever been to. It is hot and sweaty and some rides were faulty. While queuing up for one of the rides and some 40 minutes into the wait with a very cibai hot weather, and just when we are so fucking close to getting out butt onto the seat, we were told that there were safety issues. No doubt safety is of utmost importance as I do not wish to risk my wretched life to sit in their pathetic rides. Not much apologies were offered as the mechanics rushed to get their job done. To rub salt into our wounds, the management thought they were clever enough to get one of their boys to go around the queue selling drinks. Bloody hell. They should at the very least offered us complimentary for having to go through all the shits.

And you asked those funny looking attendants (Yes, there were shit ugly) how long it might take, they tried their best to give you fuck all answers like, “Oh, we are trying our best to get the problem fixed and at the moment we are not so sure.”

I mean I have paid some RM1,000 to bring the family and kids into your park and you give me that kind of answers? You mean you have paid some dumbass engineer who looked at the ride and was not able to judge how long it would take? I mean I have asked 3 times and the last being 2 minutes before the problem was fixed. So does that mean miraculously after I have asked God decided that we had enough of torture and suddenly all problems fixed? No, I just think that those ugly attendants just couldn’t bring their butts and bring out their guts to ask the Ang Moh “who knows fuck all about rides” what the problem was. It doesn’t matter if you have to wait and wait. Your precious time is non of our fucking business. And moronic as it seemed, the 75 minutes wait would mean we get to get our heart all jumpy and our brain flying out of its socket for a good 90 seconds! If you worked out the maths, then you will suddenly see how this stupid park should even survive.

Rides like Battlestar Galactica had always been suspended since its early days. So I ain’t going to bitch about that ride. But there were two other rides which were closed for god knows what reasons. Then of course there is the rapids. You will get wet! It tells you so. So you are being blackmailed into buying their $2 raincoat which they would collect at the end of the ride from most patrons as they do not want to carry around some wet coats. I mean if you are serious about making your patrons happy, by all means give them the bloody coats! It is so mean to see so many people who thought hard about wanting to pay for the bloody fucking coats. Those that did smile as they exit the ride thinking that their higher functions have won the day and laughing silly those that didn’t. Fuck, you were scammed and you still dare to laugh. But yet I pity those that didn’t buy was thoroughly wet. I was seriously wondering if anyone who was wet and then had to go through the sweltering hot weather and then gotten sick could sue the butt out of USS. Class action anybody?

Then let me tell you, the people behind these scams have very little “family education”. They were so freaking rude that I looked like an angel standing beside them. My little ones wanted to take photos with one of the characters and we stood in line. I passed my camera to one of the ugly attendants and proceed to taking a nice family photo. However, if anyone has the nightmare of logistically controlling little brats will know that we are like handicapped, and we do need that little bit of extra time to get them out of public eyes. And that extra few seconds caused the moronic attendant to scream, “ES-KEWS-MEEEE, CAN LET AR-THURS TAKE POR-THOS?” So fucking rude. If I were their father, I would disown them right there and then. Suddenly those below par Genting Theme Park (in Genting Highlands) attendants seemed so much friendlier than their Singapore counterpart despite looking like some hobbits who are underpaid and malnourished.